A whimsical look at life growing up in the small town of Waldron, Arkansas in the 1960s and 1970s, plus occasional observations from the present. Want to start at the very beginning? Click HERE.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Guest Blogger: Gus The Dog

Let me just say right off the bat that I like people.  Of course, The Big Guy and The Lady that live at my house are MY people, but I like everyone.  That's why, when one of my humans leaves the door open, I make a quick dash outside to see if there are any other people around.  And yes, I may have to travel to a few neighbors' yards to find someone, but I almost always do find someone before The Big Guy comes along to pick me up.  He always tells me how embarrassing it is for him to be walking through all the neighbors' yards to try to catch me, and yes, it's true that I let him get almost all the way up to me before I run off a little ways, but hey, let's face it...he needs the exercise.  So really, I'm just doing him a favor.

I got my two humans when I was just a puppy.  I was with my brothers and sisters, beside the road in a parking lot with some other humans that I can just barely remember, when The Big Guy and The Lady drove by in their car.  They went a little ways down the road and then turned around and came back (I knew they would!), and I was pretty glad they did because my brothers and sisters had all found humans by then and I was afraid I was going to be left alone.  So, I looked them over and decided they would be okay, so I went with them to my new home.  I even decided to let them stay there too. 

I was just learning how to growl then, and The Big Guy said my growl sounded like his stomach.  I've gotten better at it since then.  One of my favorite things to do back then was to play fight with The Big Guy.  He would lay on the floor and cover up his head while I jumped on it and did my best to get past his hands and do some damage.  Which, actually, I usually did.  For a few months there, he was always going in to work with a scratch or some other injury.  That was great fun, but when I got my other dog Gracie (more about her later) we had to stop that game, because that dumb chick thought I was really fighting The Big Guy and wanted to really fight me to make me stop!

I have a back yard at my house where I can go out and play.  The Big Guy put a little bitty fence around it, which is kind of funny because I could jump over it if I wanted to.  But, we have an understanding; he put in a doggie door so I could go in and out whenever I wanted to, so I won't jump over his little Barbie fence.  I make no promises if someone leaves the gate open, but I won't jump over it.

I really like The Lady.  She is really pretty and nice, although she makes me eat dog food.  I could usually con The Big Guy into fixing me bacon, but The Lady's not such a soft touch.  But, on special occasions, she still fixes me bacon sometimes.  I had a hard time training my two humans to know when it was time to feed me, but I finally found something that works.  When I want something, I sneeze.  Like clockwork, The Big Guy will drag himself out of The Big Chair and fix me something.  He fixes me dog food, but he'll usually put a little cheese with it, which makes it better.

When I was about a year old, I added Gracie to the family.  Gracie is a Yorkie like me, and I'm not sure where she came from, the humans just kind of showed up with her one day.  She is my friend, and we like to play fight and go for walks together, but BOY IS SHE BOSSY!  She thinks she has to control everything I do, and if I'm not going where she wants me to go, she will get under me and raise my back legs off the ground!  I've told her how embarrassing this is, but she still does it.  She had a lot to learn when she first got here.  I had to teach her that, when you're walking and you find something that really stinks, you should immediately roll in it.  She caught on pretty quickly, but now, when she finds something that is worth rolling in, like a dead bug or dead frog, she'll roll in it but if I come over to join her, she picks the thing up and runs off with it!  How rude! 

Me getting licked by Gracie

She's a good kid, though, and I'm glad she's in the family.  She does, however, have a bad licker problem.  She likes to lick me, likes to lick The Big Guy, and once she gets started she won't hardly quit.  It gets really annoying sometimes, but I guess the dumb cluck can't help herself.  Now, I'm not opposed to giving my humans sugars, but I don't get carried away.  Only when they deserve it, like when The Big Guy takes us on a walk or something.

And I'll give him this; The Big Guy is pretty good about taking us for walks.  Usually we walk around the neighborhood, which is pretty fun, but every now and then we get to go to this place called The Park to walk.  I love going to The Park, because to get there The Big Guy loads us in this Big Blue Machine That Goes Down The Road.  I get to stick my head out the window while it's moving, and BOY DO I LOVE THAT!  When we get to The Park, there is a wonderful trail that goes around this little creek, with bridges to cross and, best of all, PEOPLE TO SEE!  My favorite people are the little ones, and sometimes they stop and pet me.  Even the big people usually will at least say hi to me.  I know they all want me to go home with them, but I just couldn't do that to my humans. 

It's not all just fun and games; I also have a job.  My job is to protect The Big Guy and The Lady.  It's easy to protect The Lady; she can usually take care of herself.  But The Big Guy, now that's a different story.  The big lug is pretty clumsy and, I suspect, not too bright.  For example, to train him to cook me bacon, all I had to do was scratch on the refrigerator door.  Seriously, that was all it took.  So, I worry about him when I'm not around.  Once I can get him through the day and safely to bed, I crawl up there and lay beside him.  That way I can make sure that he don't do anything to hurt himself while he's asleep.  And I guess he's grateful; sometimes during the night he'll reach over and pat me a little bit.  Usually, all it takes is for me to give him a little lick on his arm, and he'll go back to sleep.  Then, I can get my rest too.  And I need it; believe me, this is a full time job.


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